Close Encounters with Filipino Etiquette

[PeterG]

One thing is for sure, if you come to the Philippines you'll be dealing with a whole different culture. It may be true that some of the people have adopted foreign ways, as information is readily accessible to many Filipinos, but you'll still notice a difference in culture. An understanding of the people's culture and eventually their etiquette will make sure that you get acclimated to the local scene.

Here are a few pointers on Filipino etiquette so things won't get that bizarre, or sometimes annoying, when you see them. These apply to social gatherings, everyday things, and other stuff might be useful to you. You guessed right that some of the rules on Filipino etiquette have roots in Spanish-colonial times.

The first piece of Filipino etiquette has to do with your time of arrival at any social event. Migrants from the west may find it annoying that guests show up late for a social occasion. This is proper Filipino etiquette, though it may seem a bit odd. It is considered good social form when one arrives at a gathering around 30 minutes late. So, when you are invited to a gathering, a party, or any social event, arrive around half past the appointed time. This shows that you are not overeager and is a sign of modesty.

Now, the next rule of Filipino etiquette is a bit tied to the first one we mentioned. During social gatherings, the elderly are usually greeted first. This reflects that part of Filipino culture where there is deep regard given to one's elders. This rule on Filipino etiquette also applies when you visit in another's home.

Another form of Filipino etiquette has to do with how you behave in a social gathering. It is expected that guests are to be lively and take part in the conversation. Keeping quiet during a gathering is interpreted as being bored or unhappy.

An oddity you might find is that Filipinos point with their lips. Sure, they point with their fingers at times, however you shouldn't think that they're pulling a face if they point you to the right direction using their lips. This is a practice common among the common folk or among friends.

If you happen to visit a friend, you'll notice that the shoes are left outside or placed in a shoe holder of some kind. If unsure of where to place your shoes, your host will be kind enough to tell you. One last bit, is that if you're eating and have a friend arrive, it is customary to invite him to join you. The fellow invited is then obliged to decline and acknowledge it as a kind gesture.

Living in the Philippines will bring you in close contact with Filipino etiquette. Following these rules will show social grace and reciprocate that hospitality that Filipinos are known for.

Indeed there is oddity in some if not most of the Filipino etiquette cited but here are some tips to get by:

1. Don't be offended when called "Joe" , in general white males are addressed this way.
2. Yes! when offered with anything (except in Fiestas) it is but courteous to decline.
3. Imported pasalubong or token is highly appreciated especially if it is made in the U.S.
4. When a mother tells her kid not to stop crying she meant otherwise.
5. We are warm and friendly people which may be sometimes annoying to other cultures.
6. Funeral wake has become a social gathering, sing along with Karaoke is becoming popular in some provinces.

We may have disparity in some aspects of our cultures but we have to live with it as long as everyone- Filipinos or not- agrees that the Philippines is a beautiful and cheap place to live.

WELCOME to the Philippines!

[sheena]

In gratitude of an invitation to a home or an occasion, Filipinos appreciate guests bringing a fruit basket or any food. Such a gesture is called "pasalubong". Filipinos value the gentlemanly gesture. Most of Filipino men give their seats to a woman. It is also customary for men to assist women in carrying groceries, climbing up a ladder or coming down from a staircase.

For wake and funerals, never wear loud colors especially red. Wear black or white as a sign of sympathy to the bereaved family. For relatives of the bereaved family wearing of the mourning pin (small black rectangular pin) is a must. For widows, they have to wear the mourning pin as well as wear black dress or shirts for one year.

Filipinos give so much note on formal introductions. Older folks are usually introduced to younger people first. Males are introduced to females first. Introduce a group to an individual first as the individual is not expected to remember all the names at first introduction. Failing to make introduction is a big NO-NO!

[nalie]

Also, some Filipinos simply nod their head once when saying yes instead of saying it. So if you ask a question that is answerable by yes or no, you may get this reply if it's a yes esp if the other person is a stranger who is rushing to go somewhere.

Filipinos warmth could sometimes feel intrusive as you might notice they would sometimes (or most times) ask you personal questions such us your marital status. Also, if you answered single and esp if you confirmed you dont have girlfriend/boyfriend, the person asking might start recommending someone to hook you up with. Don't be offended, Filipinos are not aware that these actions are considered being nosey as it's been part of the cultural norm for people to gossip and mind others people's business. If you don't want to be paired up, just say you are married or "taken".

It's laid back in the Philippines so you have to be on holiday mood and don't expect things to be rushed or quick. It will frustrate you. You have to keep a stock of humour and patience. Losing your temper will only makes things slower or worse as people here will take things personally if you become irate.

Humility is expected behavior if you would like to be considered pleasant. Confidence will be easily mistaken as being boastful.

When asking for directions/inquiry/etc, try to start with a bit of pleasantries and be patient if it seem not as curt and direct answer as you are accustomed to. This is how things are done here.

Never hit anyone on the head even by joke and no matter how lightly it is. It is considered rude and will get you to trouble. Throwing your slippers and other footwear (shoes/socks) is considered highly rude as well. Touching someone with your feet even in a romantic way may be considered rude esp if done waist up. Feet is considered the dirtiest and head the most sensitive (respected part) so these 2 should be avoided to come in contact.

When people offered you food several times, insisting, you should take it and you don't have to finish everything if you cant or if dont like. But if you don't like, dont say it when asked. Even if you think you dont mean to criticize the cook/host, the person who offered will feel bad about it.

If you like to be endeared easily with the elders, take their hand and bring it to your forehead. This is our sign of giving respect to elders and when done by foreigners, very endearing. Also, trying to say "opo" for yes and "hindi po" for no and "salamat po" for thank you will be considered a very polite gesture and everyone will like you instantly. To recover from a faux pa, you could say "sorry po" or "pasensya napo".

Enjoy your visit/stay

[jastreender]

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